“Romantic Realism” is not an Oxymoron: We Can Get Better at Love by Developing Skills that Promote It

A beautifully written recent article by Alain de Botton in the Guardian states: “One of our gravest errors around relationships is to imagine that they aren’t things we can get wiser and better at”.

We are all imperfect, we all come to our love relationships with many misconceptions that do not serve the relationship well, as they lead to mutual disappointments and isolation. However, Botton offers an optimistic view that we can all develop an emotional skill that he aptly terms “romantic realism”, defined as an awareness of what can be legitimately expected of love, and why many of our disappointments in love should not be taken as a sign that this particular relationship can’t work. In fact, Botton says, we can improve how good we are at loving another person, just as we can improve many other life skills. And he goes on to delineate in a clear and entertaining manner the fallacies we hold about “love ever after” and the ways to truly nurture love for a lifetime.

You can read the full article at https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/10/romantic-realism-the-seven-rules-to-help-you-avoid-divorce.

Irit Felsen